Things that are not a hat:
- Coffee filters
Raspberry jam.All jam. And hummus.
- Cloth diapers
- Dog hair
Things that are a hat: HATS
Things that are not technically torture:
- Having syrup wiped off your face/hands/hair
- Having your diaper changed (seriously?)
- Not eating cookies for breakfast
- Laying on your back for ANY reason
- Having your fingernails cut
Things that are , in fact, torture: ACTUAL TORTURE
Things that are not fun for mommy but she does because she loves you:
- Changing your diapers. Particularly your cloth diapers, which require a whole other level of intimacy with poop.
- Waking up at 5:30 a.m. EVERY SINGLE DAY.
- Story Time at the library. OH MY GOD SO MANY TODDLERS IN ONE ROOM.
- Singing the same three songs in the same order every single night for the last 587 days. (Really. I did the math.)
- The mother-effing cat piano.
Things that are fun for mommy:
- You, 94 1/2% of the time.
P.S. Not for nothing, but tampons are not the same as string cheese. Although I can see how you got confused.