Let’s keep the party polite

What’s a baby gotta do to get a drink in this joint?

Adult Beverages with which we have photographed our infant son (’cause you know what’s funny? Babies with booze):

  • Raging Bitch pale ale
  • Magnum of Rex Goliath pinot grigio
  • Bottle of Alamos Malbec (before he could even sit up)
  • Cerveza Pacifico Clara
  • 40 of Old English Malt Liquor (this was a gag gift. Give us some credit.)

A list of favorite songs to sing to said infant son:

  • Burn One Down
  • Regulators
  • F@ck You
  • Ice, Ice Baby
  • One Toke over the Line
  • The complete Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny (yeah. we don’t mess around.)

The following, swapping out “Lady” for “Baby.” Also totally inappropriate:

  • Gangnam Style (heeeeeeeyyy, Sexy Baby)
  • Once, Twice, Three Times a Baby
  • Who’s that Baby? (sexy baby)
  • Baby Marmalade
  • Lay, Baby, Lay
  • Baby Romance (ga-ga goo goo ga-ah)
  • Luck be a Baby Tonight (a baby doesn’t wander all over the room…)

We are so screwed when this baby learns to understand words.

What are your favorite R-rated songs for babies?

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5 thoughts on “Let’s keep the party polite

  1. “All the single babies, all the single babies! If you like it then you shoulda put a bink in it…”

    “Freddy My Love” from Grease – swapping for my kids’ coincidentally two-syllabled names. Except I haven’t – in three years – found a funny, or damnit, even a less cringey line for “and I will be – wearing your lacy lingerie”. So I just sing it and shiver with the willies and know it’ll be years before they know to shiver at their mom singing it, too.

  2. What’s happening all over? I’ll tell you what’s happening all over;
    Baby sitting at home by the TV set who used to be something of a rover…….
    That’s what’s happening all over.

  3. Baby Got Back. He loves it too. It’s always dance party time when Baby Got Back is in the house. (PS I realize Ross on Friends did it first, but I like to think we do it with more style.) 😉

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